Daily reminder

I am a strong and powerful individual! I can do all things through Christ who makes me stronger! I will not stand quietly! I will fight for a right to be who I am! I will not change who I am to please others. I will continue to work towards the perfection that God demands of me! I am creative and I am able to solve problems. I will not hinder in my desire to preform at my best! I will remind myself daily that I have a cause! I have a cause to live and to study in the best means possible!

Self Worth

Being the woman that I am I find it difficult to feel like I am truly beautiful. I struggle some days to even get out of bed and get ready for the day. Some times it's just because my outfit looks bad but other times it's because I myself feel equivalent to trash.  It's as though all of my self worth has gone out the window and ran away from me. I'm not saying this is an every day experience. But it does become the occasional struggle. It comes down to me not having a solid grasp on who I identify myself as. I don't feel that I can call myself as beautiful, wonderfully made, precious, and perfect.  I forget that my identity should first come from Christ.

Conversation

Words can be scary things. The scariest thing about ordering words is that you can never know how they will be received. Yet actions with out words can be easily misunderstood. And a meaningless activity can turn in to a deeply offensive act. All in all, never let your words go unspoken. It may be the difference between a thriving relationship and an ongoing conflict.    

Blame

It's hard for me to understand people that blame their struggles on other people. When my life is going bad I know that it was probably because of choices that I made. I don't try to pass my troubles off on to the actions of other people. There are those people that cover over their own pain by finding fault in others. I have recently felt that I have been the scape goat for all of these emotions. Having placed their own struggles onto the already over whelming stress I already feel. 

I understand that I may not have been the best of friends. Still, the problems of multiple people does not generate from one. I can understand that things have been difficult but I am not the blame for everyone's problems. 

Empty Days

If happiness where a man, perhaps I would be able to search him out. High on the mountains is where I might find him. Maybe in some exotic land or hidden with in the dreams of night. Even closer to his hiding place might be my imagination. Yet, happiness is not a man. Happiness has hidden well. 

Irritation

For hours on hours I have nothing to do but sit, think, and remember what little fragments of memories I still have. I can remember the sight of the grass that filled our courtyard. Yet, when I try to remember the felling of the grass I am haunted by the realization that I can not remember it. The feelings of touch that surround me are all harsh and painful. The dirt is harsh and cold. The walls are cold and rough. But the worst part is the hay. It is old and musky. It burns my skin and rips away. Over and over again it repeats its job of irritation. It has never once been changed. 

Easy

Colors of red and orange filled me with excitement. Yet, the familiar touch of green, reminded me that I did not yet possess the ability of flight. The only one that did possess flight was Laughter. Laughter floated around like a light balloon and he touched everything with his golden finger. With that, the entire aria lit up with joy. The night before was calm and today was easy.